I know, I know,... I've been changing the appearance of the site mercilessly. I'm playing like mad before I have to be "Michelle, version 2.0, work edition". I will leave the appearance alone, soon, at least for a while. Promise. :)
If you're not viewing the site from the Wordpress version already, take a look at http://stepsformichelle.wordpress.com/ and check out some cool new functions. That version of the site has additional functionality, like separate pages for book recommendations and galleries for my artwork. Fun stuff, enjoy!
As of today, I was hired for a new job. This was the result of all that testing I wrote about in the previous post. I start training on Monday.
My daughter went to her new preschool class for the first time today, and was very excited to do so. Tomorrow will be her first solo day on the bus. My son began 1st grade today, and was extremely excited to do so. My husband is officially done with the job he's had for almost 10 years, and began his first day as a full time college student today. He was also extremely excited to do so. We had so many long awaited new beginnings begin today.
A while back, there was a discussion at Threads (www.threadschurch.org) about where we're each at with the condition of our sails. In its more basic componants, it was looking at your life as being in a boat, and how you were going about steering it. Waiting on God to do his thing with your life is a lot like raising the sail of a sailboat on a windless day. You don't know exactly when that wind is going to come, but if you're going to keep the sail up, you better be holding on to your boat. When that wind comes, you don't want to be left behind.
Being asked if I would accept this new job on this day of firsts is meaningful to me. See, I'd been a bit in denial about the whole process, and had fallen behind in the original plans my spouse and I had made about what steps I would take in searching for a job. I've been very focused in the search in the last month, but I wasn't as far as we'd hoped I'd be by this time. Of all the different places I've submitted resumes, this is the one place that was actually excited about me from their first contact. They were the only place I didn't have to sell myself to, they were already buying. At each stage of the process, they mentioned that I'd likely be contacted within a week or so, but each time they ended up calling me back to confirm the next stage that very same day. In this economy, that's unusual. But the timing of it all coming together today, on this day of firsts,...seems very symbolic to me.
We still have one part to figure out, with making some daycare arrangements on the days that my husband's classes fall. Normally, not having this all figured out ahead of time would leave me in a state of panic attacks. My spouse and I will be going over our options to figure this out, its just weird that I'm not in my usual familiar state of anxiety. This is very odd for me, but I think I just don't have the space for the worry this time.
Today is the day before my birthday (birthday eve?) and I'm about to go complete assorted tests for a possible job. They've promised me a basic math, reading and writing test, with a personality test and something very similar to a wonderlic test. Is it strange that I'm looking forward to this? It actually sounds fun (with the exception of the math part).
This may sound a little odd. It's not that I like taking tests, necessarily. My nerves make themselves known on a regular basis. It's not even that I'm particularly good at all tests. I like doing well, don't get me wrong, that's just not the motivating part of this. I really like going over the results.
It's energizing for me to understand how my brain works (or doesn't work) on a given day. Minds are fascinating. Other minds are equally fascinating, its just that most folks have no reason to share the inner workings of their brains with me. All these different tests have their limitations and the possibility for error, but over time and after lots of tests, there are certain patterns that tend to remain constant.
The ways that my children's minds work are very interesting to me. The lines their thoughts travel in are so different than "typical", but if you pay attention, they make sense. It's often that they've taken something said in passing extremely literally, but it does make sense. My daughter is very direct and straightforward in her thoughts and feelings. This can be an issue when she's frustrated, but overall, this is very helpful in understanding her. She's very like her father in her directness. My son often keeps more of his meaningful thoughts to himself, and you have to dig a bit to see why something is bothering him. If I'm honest, I have to admit that this is a way he's similar to me.
At Threads (our church), we've been reading through Phillipians. The discussion that followed mentioned how our children can talk about parts of themselves that they got from their parents. "See how I made that joke? I got my humor from you." It can be so cool to recognize bits of yourself in your children. You can also recognize how they're internalizing being upset, squashing their feelings,... and recognize that they got that from you, too. I can't help but wonder how much easier life would be for my son, with all his difficulties, if he weren't like me.
I have to trust that God's got a plan in this, though. Both children have grown in their own functionality by leaps and bounds. There is no way of knowing what they'll be capable of by the time they're adults. They both really like to think, and are good at it. They both have minds that are very captivating, cool places to live in. Our job as parents seems to be to remind them that the rest of the world is interesting, too. Sharing the thoughts that dwell in their heads is part of what makes this world more colorful.